Friday, July 17, 2009

WHAT THE HECK ??????????

I was checking my e-mails this morning and I got one from Walmart. I'm apparently on their mailing list. I opened it up and saw this:


As most of you know, I am a teacher. So is Mr. Downeastdoingstuff. 

In this non-existant summer of rain and cold, my summer has barely begun. So seeing this made things even more desperate than they currently are! Where the frig is the summer???

Thinking about (gulp) s-c-h-o-o-l, I remembered this little diddy that was posted on the fridge in the teacher's room a while back. This was how it was when I first started teaching. (Or so it seems)

“To Teachers”    1870


1870:“Each day teachers will fill lamps, clean chimneys and trim wicks.”

2009: I turn on the light switch, sometimes. There are 2 of them, so it’s double the work.

1870:“Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day session.”

2009: I have 2 sinks. I check if the hot water is turned on, which it isn’t until the boilers are turned on. I don't like that.

AND If the room is too cold, which it usually is for MY taste, I get out my paperclip which I have fashioned into a NASA type of tool, and go and adjust the locked thermostat. I just have to remember to adjust it back down before I leave so I don't get busted.

1870:“Make pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to the individual taste of the pupil.”

2009: I curse the custodian when she forgets to empty the refuse tray in my electric pencil sharpener. SOMETIMES a pencil nib get stuck in the sharpener, rendering it useless. It ruins my day.


1870:“Men teachers may take one night each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.”

2009:  WHAT? WHAT? “Men teachers!!” WHO do they court? Wouldn’t the women teachers need one night a week to BE courted?? I'm glad I'm married!!


1870:“After school the teacher must spend the time until supper reading the Bible and other good books.”

2009: And WHO is making the ‘supper’????

Does the Dr. Phil Show count as a good book?


1870:Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be discharged.

2009: Uh Oh. Hmmmm. No comment.


1870: Every teacher should lay aside from each month’s pay a goodly sum for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a burden on society.

2009: Every teacher will put their money into a retirement account and then watch the money disappear in this economy. Every teacher will continue to put money into this bogus account, even though most of it continues to evaporate.


1870: Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor  in any form, frequents pool halls or public hall, or gets shaved in a barber shop, shall give good reason to suspect his worth, integrity and honesty.

2009: I’ve got to stop getting shaved in a barber shop! I don’t smoke, but I have been known to use liquor, ahem, now and then. (Like, EVERYDAY !!) (I see my job is in big trouble.)


1870: The teacher who performs his duties regularly and faithfully and without fault for five years, wil be given an increase of 25 cents a week in his pay, providing the Board of education approves.

2009: This is still TRUE.

OH PLEASE, why are we talking about THIS in July !!!!????????&^&^%%$$###@@)(*&



JoAnn ( Scene Through My Eyes) said...

Great post - enjoyed the old list and the updated one. Hope your summer turns nice and warm and you enjoy every minute of it.

Kathleen said...

I love your post, I enjoyed reading it so much. Well, it was 56 degrees at 7 AM here in Millinocket. And it rained until 9 AM. Another typical cool, damp day in the wet state of Maine. I have given up all hope for any heat or contiued sunshine to occur in this state this summer. Hugs, Kathleen

OhioMom said...

LMAO! I love this post ... especially the "unseemly conduct", guess they would turn over in their graves to see day care in the schools .. for the STUDENTS!

Thanks for the daily giggle...

brattcat said...

You could refuse to return to school until you've had at least four dry days in a row and daytime temps above 65. I bet the kids would go along with you on this one. And maybe you'd better unsubscribe from Walmart. It should be safe to resubscribe in a few weeks when they finish with 'back to school' and start advertising for Christmas.

Lili said...

It's scary to realize it is almost the end of July and that it generally cools down the last week of the August. Yikes!!!

Birdman said...

Think happy thoughts! Serenity now... serenity now!

Anonymous said...

i SOOOO agree with this!!! at this rate, the summer weather isn't going to start until august! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Unknown said...

Ha ha ha!! I love your blog. Thanks for checking mine out.

Peace and joy,


Snippety Gibbet said...

I head back to school in one, count em, one week. I am so NOT READY TO GO BACK, I could SCREAM! I teach at a "year round school" so at least I get a nice 2 week break again in October. But still.......

Deb Shucka said...

This was so funny! Since I won't be going back to school this fall for the first time in forever, I'm carefully ignoring all things school. Except it's hard to ignore the shelves of paper and pens and packs at every store you go into now. I hope you get some summer before it's over.

Mary Ellen said...

I had the same feelings when I saw the back to school aisle in Walmart last week. I think there's a law on the books somewhere (or there should be) that says we can't go back to school unless there has been a proper summer. It's only fair.

joanne said...

My husbands birthday is the end of July and he used to cry every year because that is when they put the bac to school supplies out! Now it seems it's out before school is out the year before...yikes! Thanks for the laugh today...;p

Susan said...

Zinnias and many other annuals will self seed and become like a perennial. Tidbits and trivia from Black Street

Debbie said...

Oh I totally get you on this! As soon as they are done with that, the Christmas ads will start up! It's crazy isn't it? And....with the weather we have had here in Maine, it hasn't felt like summer at all....well not until recently that is. Short lived. Just enjoy the rest of your summer and don't give it another thought my friend!

Betsy Banks Adams said...

Hi Elenka, I had to laugh at this one since I used to be a teacher---and even BACK then, the summers were getting shorter and shorter. And now--in July, all of the stores are selling 'back-to-school' stuff---ALL of them. It's kinds like selling Christmas items before Thanksgiving. GADS!!!!!

Thanks for the nice comment on my blog.

Sara said...

I used to be a teacher, that is hilarious!