Cracked me up....

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Paper Flowers I made...

Here are some large paper flowers I made for a special occasion at my school. I was inspired by googling 'large paper flowers'. Some places had directions, like the poppies, some sites were just photos and then I figured it out myself. A lot of the flowers I just made up.

They really make a big impact. I will post directions as soon as I can for some of them.

Oh, by the way, they are just construction paper.

Can YOU cut the mustard?....

Can’t cut the mustard?.....

I heard a student say this the other day. It made me wonder if they even knew what it meant. Kids often mimic phrases they hear elsewhere, but don’t really understand what they mean. 

My father used to say, “You’re nuttier than a fruitcake.”

I knew what that meant. 

Cut the mustard. I shouldn’t think that would actually be too hard to do.

Probably not the same as cutting the cheese, I would think.

So, super sleuth that I am, I dusted off my investigatory skills and pulled out my research big guns.

I googled it.

Come to find out, nobody knows for sure the origins of the phrase. Another fellow sleuth thought it referred actually to the mustard seed. Apparently the dang thing is hard to cut. So if you’re not up to completing a task satisfactorily , you can’t cut the mustard. 

OK, good enough for me.....but then I found this tidibt.

UNCOMMON USES FOR MUSTARD 

Now this is much more interesting

(Kudos to the first pioneers to try these things....)

1. Soothe Sore Throats: combine a bit of mustard with the juice of half a fresh lemon, one tbsp of salt, one tbsp of honey and 1/2 cup boiling water. Mix ingredients together and let cool for 10 minutes before gargling. Warning: this will not taste or smell good, but after a few rounds of gargling, your throat should be feeling a lot less sore.

(Translation: Gargle with a solution that smells like crap and tastes even worse and after vomiting for 20 minutes you won’t even notice your sore throat.)

1. Decongestant: instead of using a topical decongestant, rub some mustard on your chest and place a cloth that's damp with hot water over it.

(Translation: Warm, soggy mustard on your boobs will cause your lover to run for the hills, resulting in such hard breathing he’ll have enough oxygen in his system for days.)

1. Face Mask: spread a thin layer of mild mustard on your face for a few minutes and rinse for a nice, healthy glow. 

(Well, OK. But now read this warning that came with this tip....)

WARNING: Take a second before slathering up your face like a sandwich, and see if the mustard makes your sensitive skin react. Spread a little bit on your inner wrist. If you break out in some funky rash there, then I advise against putting mustard on your face.

(However, as directed in the previous suggestion, your chest as a mustard site is ok.)

1. Relax Muscles: You can utilize mustard to relax your muscles.  If your feet are exhausted from a long day of standing, make a mustard foot bath with 1 tbsp mustard in a pan of warm water. Stir water until mustard dissolves and dip your feet in for 15-20 minutes.

Translation: The aforementioned possible rash will probably develop on the soles of your feet making it virtually impossible to walk, thus resulting in very relaxed muscles throughout the rest of your body for the duration of the rash.

Live and learn.

Grey Poupon, anyone?

Why God made Moms....

My cousin in California sent this to all the mom's in our family. She did not reveal the source, so if you are the author of this collection, thanks for sharing and good job. It's all true!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

 Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

 Why did God make mothers?

1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers? 

1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of? 

1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 

1.  We're related.

2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom? 

1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 

1.  His last name.

2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad? 

1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot.

2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house? 

1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What' s the difference between moms and dads? 

1.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

2.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

3.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time? 

1.  Mothers don't do spare time

2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 

 

What would it take to make your mom perfect? 

1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 

1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.

2.  I'd make my mom smarter..  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day....

Romantic weekend....Part 2.....

So after settling in our room, we went for a walk around the shops in Rockland. Not everything was opened yet because it was before the 'season', but we did cruise around a few stores.

Upon returning to the Inn, this is how we found our room.

Lest you think those are sliced beets, be assured, they are rose petals!! And some chocolate on a silver tray. Nice touch.

So we cracked open some  champagne we brought, served up some cheese and crackers and built a fire in the fireplace. Oh yeah, I already told you it was a push button fire. Nice anyway.

After enjoying that, we took off for a local restaurant on the water that had good reviews. We decided to just go to the lounge and order a couple of appetizers and some adult beverages. Very relaxing.

Next morning..... BREAKFAST ....

Home-made hot applesauce, a breakfast bread that I think was almond, coconut and poppyseed, coffee, tea or juice.
Quiche with basil and homefries.

BUT.....BUT...the piece de resistance was this.....CHECK IT OUT !!!! They had a pantry that was open 24/7. In that pantry were 3 or 4 PIES, that were available all the time!!! Coffee and tea.In the fridge were sodas, water, BEER  and  ICE CREAM !!!!!! The deal was HELP YOURSELF!!!!! YIKES!!!

So we came back after the appetizers, fixed ourselves up with pie, ice cream and tea (for me) and went back up to our room. Perfect, perfect time.

I want that pantry in my house.

A Romantic Weekend.......part 1......

Our 36th Wedding Anniversary was on April 19th.  

But I was in Florida on April 19th...by myself. (well, with my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, aunt, aunt and uncle.....) (Hey, it's a dirty job.....this going to Florida stuff....but someone has to do it.)      ( I had to suffer through sunshine and 85 degrees.)

So needless to say, we did not celebrate it on that exact day. Actually, we did text each other several times, some of it quite mushy if you really must know, but that was the extent of our jubilee. 

So we celebrated, while actually together, just the two of us, this past weekend. 

We decided to venture up to Rockland, Maine for the weekend. We stayed at the Berry Manor Inn, pictured above. Rockland is a coastal town over an hour north of Portland. Coastal, like, on the Atlantic Ocean which, by the way, is perpetually freezing even in the best of times. 

This is the foyer you see upon entering. We were greeted by a lovely young lady, Lori, who welcomed us, gave us a history of the mansion and took us on a tour.

This is the common room to the right. There is a computer and printer in this room for guests to use.

This is the common room to the left. It also has shelves of brochures of what to do in the area, you know, like real hotels have.

This was the entrance to the dining room where we would have the second 'B' of our Bed and Breakfast situation in the morning.

This was our bedroom, room #2 to be exact. Their website is very thorough and you can see all the rooms ahead of time and pick one out that goes well with your ensemble.

Notice the flat screen TV. Beneath that is a DVD player, (movies are provided in a couple of drawers in a second floor sitting room), and on the little table with the lamp on it there is an ipod/iphone player. You would not be lacking for any of the essentials we have become accustomed  to in our daily lives.

A lovely gas fireplace....on a timer! Ah, the good ol' days, push button fires. 

The way life should be.

(more later.....)

Happy Easter Everyone!

photo credit

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Happy Anniversary my darling....

Today is our 36th wedding anniversary!!! 

This is the most current photo of us that I can find. (cough cough) (wink wink)

Yes, as you can see, I put on my wedding dress for the occasion, lugged myself to the beach, and since I am in Florida and Mr. Downeastdoingstuff is not, I found a barefoot hunk in a tux roaming around Ron Jon's at Cocoa Beach and had this photo taken.

You like it?

Seriously, it's hard to believe that 36 years have gone by, but it has. Best 36 years ever.

Thank you, Birdman, aka Mr.Downeastdoingstuff, for everything.

I love you!!!

kiss kiss

Well, Hello there?

  The gift shop in the Portland Jetport is in the gate area. It smells of a pleasant pine potpourri and is festooned with products from Maine. I’ve lived in Maine for over forty years, but still can be tempted to buy pine cone decorated candle holders or moose refrigerator magnets. It’s the same feeling that comes over me when I’m at a Disneyworld gift shop. That oven glove that looks like Mickey Mouse’s hand seems like a necessity and the Goofy clocks are to die for. Both of those items are totally out of place once they are in a home. 

   Because of the Philadelphia airport incident of August 2010, I am scrutinizing emergency items necessary to survive a night in a freezing cold airport, such as socks, sweatshirts and multiple candy bars and making sure I know the exact time the gift shop closes, when I notice someone unfamiliar that appears to be approaching me out of the corner of my eye. I veer to the right toward the paperback books and pretend to read the titles. I notice the same shadowy tall figure nearing me on my right and I turn left toward the Maine sweatshirts and t-shirts. Finally I turn on my heels and head toward the exit when a man about my age stops himself directly in front of me. I look up and see a huge smile on his face, and he was looking directly into my eyes. 

Do I know this person? My mind is racing, mentally taking inventory of every man I’ve ever met. He looks vaguely familiar and he finally asks of me.....

“Do I know you?”

I say, “ I don’t know.” 

He says, “You look very, very familiar.”

I said, “You look kinda familiar.” (I figured this was a wise thing to say just in case I actually did know this person. I didn’t want to seem like I forgot all about him or that he was so insignificant in my life that I didn’t remember him.) 

“Are you a teacher?” , I ask. (Teachers are just about the only people I know. Tons of them)

“No”

“Where are you from?”, he inquires.

“Orginally?”, I ask.

“Yeah”

“New Jersey”, I say, thinking maybe I went to high school with him!! I’ve always wanted to run into someone from high school that I’ve haven’t seen in like, forever, and then realize we know each other.

New Jersey did not put a knowing look on his face.

“You’re a teacher?”, he aks.

“Yes.”

“Where?” (Now at this point I’m surveying him for terrorist accessories, or hidden box cutters.)

Suddenly, probably sensing my razor sharp eyes scanning him, he tells me he’s a surgeon in Camden, Maine.

“Hmmm”,I tell him, “I’ve been to Camden several times before.”

That didn’t impress him at all, so he very politely said, “ It was nice to meet you, but I’m guessing I don’t know you”.

He left the gift shop and entered the bar next door. He probably needed a stiff drink to help him recover from the  disappointment of not being able to reminisce with me about our spontaneous romantic trip to the Isles of Greece when we were in our twenties.....or something like that. 

Ah, those were the days.

Update: I just want to wish a sweet lady, Annie's Mom, a very happy, happy birthday! Love ya!

 

And we all just let it be???

I was driving into school today and, once again, noticed the price of gas. 

It’s bad enough, the price that is, but can someone explain to me why ANYTHING costs a ‘dollar’ amount, a ‘cent’ amount and then a fraction of a cent????

Hello. I’m paying $3.67 and 9/10 for a gallon of gas?  Nine tenths of a cent???

So when I’m all finished filling the tank by myself, why does it never total 'whatever', 'whatever' and a fraction of a cent? How can it always end up on a whole cent?  I’m no math wiz, but even I know something isn’t kosher.

I fear I am being taken for a ride.

Just a new painting......

I finished this one a few weeks ago, but was reminded of the snowy image because..... WE HAD ANOTHER SNOW DAY ON FRIDAY!!!! $^*))*&^%$#       It was not April Fools......

Happy Birthday MOM!!!!!!!

Today is my Mom's 90th Birthday! (She's the one on the left.)

Yeah, that's me in the middle on my first birthday. That's about the look I have on my face whenever  I count the candles on my birthday cake. Actually, these days, it's an even more perplexed look. 

Where does the time go?

So, today, Mom, you are 90 years old.  You have no idea how thrilled I am to be able to celebrate this milestone with you, even though it's over the miles. The love I feel for you I could never express. The thankfulness I feel, for everything you've ever done for me, is equally difficult to put into words. 

All I can say is that I love you beyond words and thank you from the bottom of my heart......for everything. 

So, have a great day, Mommy. This family loves you and wishes you much health and happiness.

AND, I will see you in 3 weeks!!!!!!!!

Všetko najlepšie k narodeninám, mamička!!!!

(Yeah, there I am again, thrilled to be out in the freezing Pennsylvania air.....That's still my puss when I'm cold.)

Happy, Happy Birthday to the best Mom in the world!

Not much doing......

Not much happening around here, so in order to come up with a new post, I had to do some scrounging. I don't want my 3 fans to think I've succumbed to an untimely end.

1st scrounge: 

Baby Downeastdoingstuff and I met on Fort Hill to see the Super Moon come up. I read that some predicted doom and gloom as a result of this celestial event, but all was well.

It was supposed to be 30 percent brighter and 14 percent larger. I think it was only 13 percent larger.

Yesterday morning I drove to work behind this truck for about 10 miles. I tried to avert my eyes from.....well.....you know, but I couldn't. Pervert.

Finally, this was the view THIS MORNING. Hey, it's spring!!! What the heck?
That's it. Pathetic, huh? I need more material......

Happy Valentine's Day.....

 Valentine's Day was one month ago, give or take a day.

 

Mr. Downeastdoingstuff and I celebrated last night!!

 

Now I know that in your warped minds a number of scenarios might be racing through your brains and before you start hyperventilating........we just went out to dinner. 

(We've been married almost 36 years....celebrating Valentine's Day takes on many forms. ie. 'Don't buy me a card, and I won't buy you a card.', was something I vaguely think I uttered. [I'm not paying $6 for a card and neither is he! Being a math wiz I know that adds up to $12 bucks. Ridiculous.])

So we decided to go out to dinner to a nice place. Only took a month to figure out where to go.

OK, so we're a bit slow, but we don't need to impress each other any more. Well, no, I take that back.....Mr. DEDS needs to continually impress me. (He reads this blog, so I don't want him to think he can slack off.)

So off we went to Walter's, an upscale, contemporary (for Portland, Maine) restaurant that has received excellent reviews. It was really balmy out, about 40 degrees, so it was a nice night to go out on the town.

I took some photos, but it was so dang dark in there they are not very good, but here they are...

View from our table toward the front door.

(Notice how it's still light outside!!! Yippee....good bye winter.)

I had the Salmon dish. At the top was smoked salmon and at the bottom were two hunks of roasted salmon, each in a different sauce. It was all artfully placed on top of a bed of sauteed spinach and pine nuts. As a finishing touch, it was all impaled with three pieces of wood. (?)

Mr. DEDS had the Mixed Grill. A Petite Filet Mignon, Shrimp and Scallops. Garlic mashed potatoes and some other stuff we couldn't identify.

And in honor of our Valentine's Day celebration, a huge painting of a heart was hung up, I'm sure, just for our enjoyment. What a place.

Note: Yesterday was the last day of Restaurant Week in Portland, Maine. For one week you could go to many, many participating restaurants and pay one price (it varies from $20, $30 or $40) and get a three course meal. If you do the math, which you all know that I am good at, you actually save quite a bit of money that way. 

BTW...NOT buying two Valentine's Day cards bought us a glass of wine and another alcoholic concoction called Coco-mo. Good deal if you ask me.

Love you, Birdman.