Pissed off....

Right now, and I mean right now, I am pissed off.

It's 11:39 pm. 

That's bad enough, that I am still awake.

The part that makes it pissable, is that I am at Gate C26 at the Philadelphia airport.

I'm the only one at Gate C26 at the Philadelphia airport.

Did I mention that it's 11:41 pm?

My flight is at 6:45 am.

Do the math.

Why am I here?

Good question.

My mom, who lives in Orlando, fell last weekend and broke a vertebrae in her back. She's 89 years old. Not good. She also has heart issues. She's in a rehab facility at the moment.

So, being the good daughter that I am, I took off to help out a little. Dad is also 89 and he's at home.

Got to the Portland Jetport okay. Got on the plane okay. Plane taxied to runway okay.

Plane shuts off engines. NOT OKAY.

Pilot says they didn't know we were going to use the runway so we weren't scheduled.

So we have to wait about 25/30 minutes. Then we'll go.

"...they didn't know we were going to use the runway???????"

You can't make this up.

Understand, I had 44 minutes between flights. If all goes ok, that's not a lot of time.

So now I'm down to 20 minutes between flights.

So we take off. When we are almost in Philly, the pilot comes on and says, "They won't let us land, so we have to circle for a while."

"They won't let us land????????"

Now I KNOW that I'm in the Twilight Zone. 

Using the runway? Silly us. Needing to land? Preposterous.

So by some miracle we  land and I calculate that my next plane is leaving in 11 minutes. It's still actually here. BUT, I'm in the back of the plane and nobody seems to be opening the door.

(Another foreign concept, I'm sure. I am convinced that they are making this all up as they go along.)

We landed at Gate C-24. My plane is leaving from Gate B-5. Not good.

After an excruciating amount of time goes by, I hit the terminal floor running. Along with about 10 other people, not all going to the same place.

I notice that some people can run faster than me. So fast, in fact, they are yelling out "excuse me! excuse me!" 

I am yelling out "&^%$#^&*#*&", and  " (make  heavy breathing sounds)".

 These people appear to be 30 to 40 years younger than me. That might have a wee bit to do with it.

No one pays any attention to me clopping along.

I run until I can run no longer. Running in sandals is not good. Running with a backpack on and pulling a rolling valise is not good. None of this is good.

Look. What's ahead? Why, it's B-1 ! Followed by B-2 and 3, then 4! Can B-5 be far behind, I joke to myself?

No joke. B-4 is followed by B-6. 

"WTF?"

B-6 .....B-9 then what to my wondering eyes should appear? But, yes, yes, yes B-5!!!!!!

B-5.

 I'm sure there were people there once.

Did I mention that it's 12:03 am?

more later......

I found my lock....

I found a lock!

In a plastic box in the bowels of our linen closet, amid old, rusty thumbtacks, plastic wire caps, dried up tubes of superglue (which are still there), that iron-on stuff you cut and iron onto the back of a hole in your clothes to try and disguise the hole and myriads of other unidentifiable, dried up, rusty things, I find a lock......with the key!

I actually found 2 locks, a little one and a bigger one.

I took the little one because it was so cute.

If you read my previous post, you already know that the latest trend and must-do for all people in love (lest being deemed as uncool) is to attach a lock with your name on it to something somewhere and toss the key.

Apparently this signifies that your love will be locked forever in this world to infinity and beyond.

I would like that.

But where to put it without someone unromantic person using the jaws of life to remove it?

This is what I have to think about today.

Where would you put it?

No bagels, but some locks.....

Locks on a Ponte Milvio street lamp

(photo credit)

My husband posted a photo on his photoblog today of some locks. A comment was left by someone in France named Maylss that described how it's become a trend around the world for lovers to put locks on public places to signify their everlasting love.

Super sleuth that I am (trained at Google U) I discovered this....

Locks of love are the padlocks fixed by loving couples, on to a fence or a pole or metallic chain/string alongside some wall etc at a public place, to symbolize their eternal love. A couple would hang a padlock after inscribing their name or initials on it and throw the key away so that their love is locked forever. Some couple use two inter-twined locks, each lock bearing their name/initials. Besides lovers, often family members and close friends also put such locks at these places, to lock their relationship forever.

The tradition probably originated from China where the love locks can be seen at several locations alongside the Great Wall of China and also in many temples and on the steps/paths leading to sacred peaks.

The tradition has spread around the World and is now quite prevalent in South Korea, Japan, Guam, Italy, Hungary, Latvia, Russia, USA etc.

I gotta find a spare lock somewhere.....

I'll drink to that.....

Setting the scene....

Mr. DEDS and I, his brother and girlfriend are enjoying a beautiful summer evening, sitting around a nice, round outdoor table on her patio enjoying glasses of wine, beer and shrimp.

She has a dog chained to a long, long rope nearby. Said dog keeps a yellow ball in her mouth 24/7. This dog likes depositing the yellow ball near or on people so that said people pick up and toss the saliva coated ball. Dog races to catch it and brings it back, hoping to repeat the scenario.

Guess what happens when dog meanders around the table trying to get us to toss her ball (she's being ignored as we have much more stimulating conversations to tend to...), resulting in her rope being wrapped around the table legs one time, and then, and THEN brother-in-law decides to not just toss the ball gently into the yard, but to heave-ho it at 90 miles an hour to parts unknown behind where I am sitting? 

Said dog launches at rocket speed to retrieve the ball, simultaneously catapulting the entire table at super sonic speed in my direction. If that wasn't bad enough, the entire contents of everyone's wine and beers are now soaking into my carefully thought out ensemble. I have never been so wet in public in my regular clothes.

The following picture was taken AFTER I already changed my alcohol 100 percent SOAKED top.

As I told my brother-in-law, it's a good thing I like him.

Sticks and a stone....

While Mr. DEDS was away last week, I puttered a lot. Here is a result of one of my putterings.

A vase made out of sticks!  Artfully placed next to a stone. (I collect stones with lines on them.)

I tied the sticks together with thin gold wire I found in my junk drawer. I added beads as I went along looping the wire around each stick. This is a shot from the BACK, where I put a few dabs of hot glue here and there to give it all a little suppport.

Come to find out, the sticks were still a little wobbly when stood up, so I glued a piece of black felt onto the back to hold everything in place.

This is all wrapped around an empty spaghetti sauce jar. (Did I really have to say 'empty'?)

I also added a few more wires here and there with more beads and I twisted some of the additional wire into spirals.

Fill with water and flowers I found along the side of the road and voila. 

What a great idea....why didn't I think of this?

OK, I confess. I've been watching 'LOST' this summer on www.hulu.com.

I did not watch it when it was watchable, nor did I want to.

But a friend of mine mentioned shortly before school was out that she was going to rent LOST this summer to see what the hullabaloo was all about.

So I said, "What the heck". I was tired of watching Alfred Hitchcock Hour on hulu and thought I'd give LOST a chance.

Well, I'm into Season 5, Episode 11 as of today.

I     am      hooked !!

Come to find out, Hurley aka Hugo has a blog! He has two of them. (Maybe more...)

And one of the posts was this...... Genius!!  Check it out. (Nothing to do with LOST at all.)

click here

Agree?

It stinks....

....or at least it stank.

OK, so Mr. Downeastdoingstuff goes off for a few days. This is something that has been in the works for many months and marked on his calendar. This event was not sprung upon him at the eleventh hour rendering him a frenetic valise packing fool. Oh no. He knew about it.

I had to get up at the ungodly hour of 7 A.M. to transport him to the other people that also had this occasion marked on their calendars.....for months. I didn't mind (too much)....I love him....and I know that he would get up at any time, day or night to transport me to anywhere in the world that I wanted to go. 

So while I'm still bleary-eyed and semi-unconscious in bed at 6:45 A.M. he announces to me that there is a skunk in his havahart trap.

"A what?" Blink. Blink.

"A skunk. And I don't have time to do anything about it, so you are going to have to handle it."

Sensing a nervous breakdown approaching, I have a nervous breakdown.

(why, oh, why didn't he de-activate the trap the day before KNOWING he was leaving????)

sob. sob.

"WHAT?????#&%((@??"

"Yeah, but you know what to do."

(I know what to do. ) Blink. Blink.

ONLY because he has had to do it before, several times. And I've 'heard' him 'talk' about what he does. BUT, and this is a big BUT, I've never seen him do it, and I've never even operated the friggin Havahart trap. (Just the word 'trap' doesn't sit well with me. Things can go awry rapidly.)

So that's it. Off I go, good wife that I am, taking him to his destination designated in ADVANCE. Did I mention he knew he was leaving?

I drop him off, come back home armed with good intentions of taking control of the situation, and.........go back to bed.

Can't sleep. Toss. Turn. Thinking about something I shouldn't be thinking about. What are my options?

1. Do nothing. (I presume the creature will eventually go to skunk heaven, what in this heat and all....) (Heaven is supposed to be good, isn't it?) (But visions of the skunk named 'Flowers' from the movie BAMBI enter my head and this does not become an option.)

2. Have my grown son still living with us take care of it, which is the same as option #1.

3. Do 'it' myself.

So, after grumbling and pacing, I go up into the garden area to assess the situation.

Here is what I see.

It IS a little 'Flower'. Just a baby, all black and white and fluffy and pretty. 

Sheesh.

I KNOW first thing I have to do is to quietly cover the dang trap with a cloth of some sort. This apparently confuses the skunk and she thinks everything is ok. (Not too bright, are they?)

So I go grab an old sheet in the garage and like a professional stealthy burglar on cat paws, I slowly, carefully cover the cage and ......run like hell.

OK. Step One. Check.

Step two. Text husband. Check.

"Now what?", I type on my cell phone.

"Open the trap with a stick pushing the front lever.", is the response.

"&$(__&@$*&@^", I mumble. 

OK, I find a stick, expose the lever, and push it.

Nothing.

Push harder.

Zippo.

Text him again. "Try harder", he instructs. (YOU try harder is what I wanted to say.)

Now I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. So I did what any intelligent person would do. GOOGLE it!!!

After 45 minutes of watching videos about different types of traps and how not to get too close because these animals have TEETH, and how you don't want to get rabies and stuff, checking out the latest recipes on www.cookinglight.com , I come to the realization  that I can open the lock to the door if I have some sort of a hook apparatus. So I made one with some metal strapping, some pvc pipe and masking tape. See?

Now, if you look closely you can see a wire that's up in the air in the front of the trap. I did that. With my hook.

(key smug look).

Then I took the stick and pressed down on the front lever. The door opened! And I didn't smell anything! Flower was a good girl thus far.

Yeah!!!!! I took the stick off of the lever. 

The door slammed shut.

"*&^%$#^*" and "grrrrrrrrrr".

I had to think fast. How much of this ruckus was Flower going to take?

Aha. I did make a hook, didn't I?? So I opened the door again with the stick on the lever routine, took my nifty hook and latched it over the edge of the open door, laid the hook and pvc pipe handle on the top of the trap, placed a shovel over it as a counterweight and backed away.

(If you want to take notes, you can biggify the pic by clicking on it.)

Voila!!!!! Door open...... and I didn't get bitten or sprayed and it only took  from 7 A.M. to  4 P.M. for the  completion of the job. 9 hours. 

What was I going to do with myself  the rest of the day?  ;-/

Using my Blackberry (s)...........

We are lucky enough to have a field FULL of a million blackberry plants, give or take.

I look forward to this every summer. I will stand out in the field and using both hands, gobble down blackberry after blackberry. They are soooooooooooooooo delicious!

BUT, in a couple of weeks they are gone. Why I haven't attempted to freeze them in the past, I don't know.

But this summer I did just that.

Here's how.....

Pick non-mushy berries. Wash them and then dry them. (I put them on a dish towel and wiggle the dish towel around and then gently roll them onto another dry dish towel  and further dry them. 

Then I spread them out on a cookie sheet and pop into the freezer just as they are, overnight.
The next morning each and every berry is like a marble human zygote.
I immediately pop them into a zip lock bag (one of the greatest of inventions ever) and put them in the freezer. I have 4 bags frozen. 

Made a  cobbler  cobbler  yesterday. (Note: If you try this recipe, the baking time is too long. I set the timer for 45 minutes and when I checked it at 37 minutes, it was already too long. I would watch it like a hawk after 30 minutes.....)

One of life's greatest joys. Berry, berry good.

Road Trip downeast....

Last week we decided to take a drive up to Belfast, Maine for lunch. Here are some images.

Stopped in Wiscasset, Maine for a potty break at the boat launch. The famous Red's Eats wasn't even open for business yet. (When we left, after strolling around a bit, there was a line at Red's Eats, 30 minutes before they opened at 11:30 am)

Mr. Downeastdoingstuff, aka Birdman, lingered here....

Finally arrived at the historic, waterfront village of Belfast.

Quaint shoppes (note the quaint spelling) and eateries.

Had to stop at Perry's Nut House. (Some think Mr. Downeastdoingstuff aka Birdman was born here. I can attest to the fact that he was not. Wishes he was, but he wasn't)

I stopped here over 25 years ago on my way back from a workshop at Haystack Mountain School of Crafts in Deer Isle and bought a pair of gold sanddollar shaped earrings, my favorite. After a while, the 'gold' wore off and I had to discard them. Hoped to replace them, but the inside of Perry's Nut House was not as I remembered it. Plastic lobsters and dog poop,  magic tricks, and, of course, NUTS, (They are big on nuts, it would make any man green with envy)

but no jewelry. 

I need to find a better source for my fine jewelry.

Stopped at Camden Harbor for supper.

There's money here......

Mussels in wine sauce...yum.

The weather was around 80, sunny and breezy. A perfect day with my sweet Birdman.

Do you find this scary?

It's called a scarecrow. It's supposed to be scary. 

It scares me. I don't think it scares the birds. Which is what it's supposed to do.

Mr. Downeastdoingstuff made it. I'm hoping it's not finished yet, a work in progress. I don't dare ask him. It's been at least a week. Maybe it's the best he can do. 

I think he needs my help. He just has to ask.....

At least this guy is scared.....

P.S.  To be fair, he DID ask me for help when he started and I, good wife that I am, said "no way".

What's important....

photo credit

During those 45 minutes that we were seeking shelter in our basement during a tornado warning, I was thinking about what I should have grabbed before the tornado rips my house apart akimbo.

Mr. Downeastdoing stuff already did this self evaluation and his determination was: beer.

I, myself, gave this more thought than that.

Many people say family photos. Yeah, maybe, but I can see with my 89 year old parents that they are trying to foist their collection of family photos onto me and I really don't want them. Oh yeah, I took a few so that I would remember that even I, was once a baby and I did  graduate Junior High, High School and College in an actual cap and gown. But other than that, I didn't really take any other 'black and white' and faded color snap shots. 

So who is going to want the 8 organized in chronological order albums I made? Not my child who doesn't want anything that isn't on his i-phone.

So family photos....maybe.

Let's see...here is my top ten list of what should be grabbed just before your life is going to be torn apart...

10. Family photos...maybe. 

9. Family documents....I guess....although they can all be replaced....for a fee, I'm sure.

8. Recipes....especially old, favorite ones and the Slovak family ones (that's what I am). I should type those onto my laptop, now that I think about it. Yeah, good idea.(That's why I keep this blog, makes me think about these things...)

7. Hairdryer and round brushes....I know, I know, I can replace these, but I would need them the very minute the tornado is over and Mr. Downeastdoingstuff  starts up the generator. (I have major hair issues and I would think the humidity would be high after a tornado is over, what with all the ripped up water pipes and stuff.)

6. Jewelry.....not that I have anything all that great, but I've already been through having my house robbed and ALL my jewelry taken at one time and then having to replace it.  (NOTE: My advice to anyone that wears jewelry. DO NOT, I say, DO NOT keep all your jewelry in one spot, ie. a jewelry box. All the burglar has to do is to grab it in one fell swoop and it's gone.) Rather keep your jewelry all over the house or in boxes that say Rat Poison.

5. A coffee yogurt and a Diet Pepsi. You probably will be hungry right after surveying the damage and digging around for your family photos. Don't forget a spoon.

4. My purse. I might need my credit cards and car keys, assuming the car is not in a tree somewhere. Lip gloss and sunglasses, too.

3. My paintings.....although this is too daunting a task, it would be nice to have.

 

3a. My Laptop and charger. (use with generator) 'nuf said.

2. My Cats.....Little Molly and Sophie. Can't live without them, cause they're purrrrfect.

1. My retainer. OK. Yeah. My retainer. 

Being an adult orthodontic patient, insurance didn't cover any of the million dollars it cost me. Everynight I have to wear a clear plastic retainer for the rest of my life if I don't want to revisit the Orthodontist. And I am fully aware that every night when I put it on, it is tight and is loose by morning. So my teeth shift even during the course of the day.

 JUST IMAGINE sifting through tons of debris that used to be our house after a category Fujita scale-5 tornado looking for a clear, plastic retainer. Ain't gonna happen. And it takes weeks to get a new one made. So, that is the number one thing I should have grabbed.

(Well, it's tied at number one with the cats, truth be told.)

That's it. 

There's no place like home.

What would you take with you?

Hunkered down in the *&%$# cellar for 45 minutes.......

or, this isn't Kansas anymore.

Hey, I live in Maine. We're not supposed to get tornado warnings.  Are we?

It started out a gorgeous, warm summer day. Weather forecasts were predicting severe thunderstorms in the afternoon, but we've heard that before.

Not a cloud in the sky.

By late afternoon the weatherman had hi-jacked all 3 Portland stations. They were showing non-stop radar maps of the rapidly changing weather situation. 

"See this hook? Sure sign of rotation.  Wait...yes....our doppler radar indicates two rotations (code word for tornado) right there and there.", says the meteorologist as excited as I've ever heard him while using a pointer aiming right at where we live !

"You're sh!ting, me!" I proclaim.

"I must stress", says the weather guy, "this is a serious situation. A warning is much worst than a watch. You must take precautions right now."

Promptly a graphic comes up with directions for what to do. 

1.Go down the cellar if you have one. If not, go to they furthest place in the house away from windows. Do not open any windows.

2. Cover your head and neck with pillows or mattresses. Try to go under a sturdy workbench or table. (Workbench...ha...ours doesn't get any work done on it....plus it's out in the garage, But that's another story.)

3. If you are outside, do not attempt to outdrive a tornado. Get out of the car and lay in a ditch.

(I have issues with this one, but nevertheless.....)

In a controlled panic I ask Hubby....."how do we know when to go down the cellar?"

A confused look is all I get. My interpretation of the look is, "I'm not going down the *&%$# cellar!"

Five minutes later we are down the damp, unfinished 200 year old *&%$#  cellar with every pillow I could find, 3 flashlights, 2 cats and a portable radio that emitted static.

It was way to creepy for me. Scrunched up on one of the pillows, I was just waiting for the sound of a freight train. Thank God, it never came.

But it did come elsewhere.......

Despite the tree damage, there appears to be little structural damage. We lucked out....this time.

UPDATE: The National Weather Service confirmed that 3 tornados touched down in Maine that day. The above pictures show the damage from one of them.

Thank you Brattcat....

Mr. Downeastdoingstuff, aka Birdman, and I have been blogging only for about 1 1/2 years. It's really been a lot of fun and we have 'met' many, many interesting people. (YOU guys!)

 We have actually, in reality, met, in real life, Mr. and Mrs. Brattcat from Brattleboro, Vermont last December when they came to Portland. 

They were gracious enough to invite us to their neck of the woods this past weekend. 

It was a blast spending time with 2 very talented, very nice people in the Green Mountain State.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Brattcat for a wonderful time.
P.S. On the way there, somewhere west of Keene, NH, we stopped at rest area. It was a quaint, tiny little building with a kindly gentleman offering help to weary travelers, a cold water dispenser and rest rooms. That was about it and that was all anyone needed.

But just in case, posted on the inside of the ladies room door, was this map. 

Notice the 'You are Here' marking. I shudder to think what would have happened to me if I didn't see that. I probably would have been lost forever.

Thank you New Hampshire. Live Free or Die.

Random thoughts....

(image credit)

I saw fried ice cream on the menu at the beach. OK, someone tell me, why would ice cream need any help at all, especially from oil? 

And think about all the molecules of ice cream that have melted away in the frying process. 

What a waste of resources.

My husband, Mr. Downeastdoingstuff, is always thinking. His thoughts really flow with a bottle of wine.

(Ask our contractor, most of the work and additions to our house popped into Mr. DEDS head via vino. All worth it, I might add.

This time he E-MAILS me this tidbit. (yes, we do live in the same house. I was actually IN the house with him when he e-mailed me this.) (although I should talk....I've actually called him on his cell from my cell while we were both in the house!)

Nevertheless....here it is.....

"Hey, it's HOT out but...

Ok- maybe I've been out in the heat a bit much. I've been thinkin'--- here are some innovative ideas that should be tried immediately

1. in summer wash shorts and wear immediately! Wet. Real cool! Try it!

2. Eliminate the month of March immediately!  Each month takes on 2-3 extra days. Birthdays moved to other months. The month is a mental DRAG!

3. Buy a car--- the car is immediately registered for 100 years! No charge! No questions! Also-- a one time inspection sticker is given at that time.

4. Make it REAL hard to fall in love!  You know make it emotionally and physically challenging.  Make it like a Game Show! I haven't got this one all worked out yet. THEN--Incentives should be given 10 years, 15, 20 and so on you get valued coupons. (too many divorces on this planet)

5. No more irons... put on your clothes with a million wrinkles, then walk under this quick-iron machine, like the metal detector at airports. An instant dry mister(like at Disney in summer months) filled with water and Wrinkle-free. Sort of like getting freeze-dried, fast, no curling of hair, and clothers instantly ironed and pressed. This would save me lots of time and complaining! Both by me and others I love."

The last one may have been a residual inspiration from one of my previous posts on ironing. Or maybe it's because I refuse to iron any of his stuff.

I'm sure he'll email me and let me know. Looking forward to hearing from him.