Pesto....a little healthified...

FINALLY I have something from my garden!!! With 4,000 days of rain, it did a job on everything growing around here. You would think rain would be good....but not gallons at a time. 

Anyway, I went up to prune my basil back today and took the clippings and made pesto. I love pesto. But I have to de-salt things, so I did the best I could.

Here's the basil, washed and in the food processor. Recipe calls for 3 handfuls. (very precise)

I had 4 1/2 handfuls, so I used it all.

Then add 3 tsps. minced garlic.

Turn on the 30 year old processor and pulverize the contents.

Then add 2 handfuls of walnuts.

The recipe then calls for 1/2 to 3/4 C Parmesan Cheese. Here is where the salt is, so I only put in 1/4 C AND I used low-fat Parmesan Cheese.
Pulverize again.
Now drizzle 1/4 C of extra virgin olive oil SLOWLY into the bowl while processing.
Voila! Pesto.
This is how much it made. 

BTW, I am not happy with the Dannon yogurt company. I eat a coffee yogurt for lunch EVERYDAY, and I do mean, every day, (ask Birdman) and I have for over 25 years. For some reason they decided not to put the plastic covers onto the yogurts anymore. They just use a heavy duty foil instead. BUT now I have no covers to use to cover stuff like this. 

I don't know what they were thinking.

PESTO,  with healthier version notes.

-Fill processor with 3 good handfuls of basil.

-Add 3 tsp. minced garlic. Process.

-Add 2 handfuls of walnuts. (or Pine Nuts)

-Salt and Pepper to taste. (I only put pepper in)

-1/2 to 3/4 C grated Parmesan Cheese. (I used low-fat and I only used 1/4C)

Process.

-1/4 C plus 1/8 C oil ( I used 1/4 C Extra Virgin Olive Oil)

Slowly pour the oil into the processor while it's processing.

Toss with any cooked pasta. I like it on bow-tie pasta, or thin spaghetti.

Or use on a pizza instead of pizza sauce.

I hope you enjoy it.

Last week......

Last Thursday.... lovely day at the beach with Mr. Downeastdoingstuff, aka Birdman.

Next day, rain.....again.......

Went to the Una Bar to try and keep dry.....(song, 'How dry I am', inspired by such an event.)

Had to order up a couple of cosmopolitan's and some crabcakes. Then another cosmo.....

Then off to the Portland Museum of Art. VERY cosmopolitan. And free on Fridays.

Free view from one of the round windows toward the Eastland Hotel

There was art work inside.

When we left, the rain had stopped and the sky became a piece of art.

Then to Jan Mee's for Chinese food. 
That's it. Nice time.

Beep Beep...the dreaded 'EO-F2' display....

My stove beeps now and then for no apparent reason. It used to do it a lot more. It seems to be settling down now a bit. 

Just like my 12 year olds at school. If they discover a squeaky chair, or squeaky sneakers, or the fact that if you bang a pencil on the table it actually makes a noise, they do it over and over again for about, oh, the entire period.

Or at least they attempt to. You see, if you ignore it, the thrill is gone. If they find out that what they are doing doesn't irritate the teacher, what's the point of doing it?

So I ignore these infrequent irritants, much to their dismay, and they stop it.

So the thrill is gone on my stove, too. The beeping is stopping, at least the 'for no apparent reason' beeping, BUT there is another issue that is probably more irritating......like.....the oven keeps shutting itself off AND as it does this, IT BEEPS!

This is a problem sometimes. For example, when you are actually baking something. When you bake a pizza, for instance, the pizza likes to have it HOT in the oven. Really HOT ....for more than 1 minute at a time. 

But NOOOOOOOO.....

The oven blinks 'EO-F2' on it's display after about a minute or two goes by. I think it stands for 'Elenka's Oven-Failed, 2 bad'.  And it promptly shuts itself off. 

So what I have to do everytime it shuts off and I am baking gourmet stuff, is:

1. Press the OFF button. (even tho it's off already.)

2. Press the BAKE button.

3. UP the temperature to 400 degrees if I'm making a pizza.

4. Press START

5. Grin and pray for 2 seconds.

6. Stand there waiting for a miracle....

7. Hear the BEEP.  Sigh...Curse....

8. Go back to step #1.

This is not a good way to become a Barefoot Contessa!

I looked all this up online....apparently it's the touch pad that's on the fritz.

And it'll cost approximately half  the cost of a new range to fix it.

Back to step #1. 

Note: My wannabe comedian son, when asked, 'what time is it?'

now says.....

'EO-F2'

This is the same kid that wants to name his firstborn child                      R-7-'bluesquare'-D. (Sorry, I don't know how to actually make a 'bluesquare' with my computer.) 

Anyway, back to the stove.....It just beeped......

Crap, now I think I'm in real trouble.

craigslist find.....

This is a copy of an ad on Craigslist in Maine. Ayuh.

reclining chair - $20 (augusta)

---

Date: 2009-07-27, 10:48PM EDT
Reply to: sale-hkvuk-1292603040@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

older reclining chair, looks like but is not leather, come and get it! 

email or call *** **** 

• Location: augusta
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

**********************************************

I - KID - YOU- NOT. !!!!!!

This purchase has strings attached......be careful.

In case there are any other Maine Craigslisters reading this, this might be useful so you don't get screwed:

re⋅clin⋅er

  [ri-klahy-ner] 

–noun

1.	A reclining chair. an easy chair with a back and footrest adjustable up or down to the comfort of the user.

WHEN YA GOTTA GO.....

Upon entering the women's rest room in a Massachusetts rest area, I was presented with this enormous poster.

It was a diagram of the impending toilet I was going to use. No other Water Closet I have ever entered provided me with this type of intricate demonstration of the device I was going to use.

They called it the GREEN TOILET.

I do not possess a photographic memory, so the only thing I remembered about the informational poster were the words Green Toilet. This was what I was sorta expecting.

This was the second informational poster that was provided INSIDE the stall. I felt like I should have brought a notebook to take notes...this was way too much information. So what precisely did this 'green' toilet look like????

THIS is what it looked like.

The blackest black hole I've ever seen. This is not a trick of the camera. There was no bottom, there were no sides to be seen. Just total, unending blackness, unlike anything I've ever seen.

I imagine this is what a black hole in outer space must be like.

Speaking of bottoms, whenever I use a public facility, there is nothing that I touch that isn't separated from my skin by several, thick layers of tissue paper. So careful am I about this, that technically I don't even need to wash my hands as my hands never actually touch anything.

(Don't worry, birdman, I do wash my hands anyway....)

So one of my chores to get the job done was to put layers of toilet paper onto the seat itself before use. Well, I soon discovered that there was a 'breeze' coming up from the black hole!

None of the tissue paper would stay on the seat, it would be blown off the second I let go of it!!

After several failed attempts, I knew I had to do the dreaded hover technique. Fortunately my job to do wasn't complicated, if you get my drift.

Even with the 'breeze', amazingly there was NO smell of any kind, good or bad.

Not knowing what to expect when expecting a 'green' toilet, at least it wasn't this.....

Which it could have been!!

Speaking of doing the job, imagine how this Guiness Book World Records holder would take care of business??
ANY business...

Come to find out she hadn't cut her nails since 1979. 

Here is a quote from her when asked about the topic of this post:

"........she was asked the inevitable question about how she goes uses the bathroom, she replied: 'Very carefully'.

I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW!!!!!!!!!

Sad update: (get a tissue, toilet or otherwise...) She was recently in a car accident and was thrown from the SUV and lost all her nails. She was devastated. 

Some things I noticed today.....other than it's raining.

Current observation......WHEW!!!!!....Horseradish sauce clears your sinuses in a split second! 

I wanted something with a little punch added to my plain chicken tonight. Pulled this out of the fridge. Yowza!!!!

I was watching Oprah earlier. She had on a Doctor (not Phil) that discussed various physical issues that folks in the audience had. When asked about toenail fungus, he said the only thing that works is an oral pill.

BUT a side effect could be liver failure! 

LIVER FAILURE !!!!!!!

Who, may I ask, would risk that for toe nail fungus??

My personal solution for those patients: colored nail polish. 

(WARNING: Could cause wallet failure if you have someone else do it, tho.)

Talking about fungus, how come some words are only used in certain phrases?

For example:

“He was brandishing a gun.” Brandishing? I’ve never heard that word used in any other way....

or

“We will garnish your wages.” I don’t think it means sticking a piece of parsley in your wallet.

or

How about, “it was a miscarriage of justice....” I guess that could be pretty yucky.

Speaking of wages, I live in a house that is almost 200 years old, so many things are crooked, I've observed. That is due to many things,  ie. gravity, wood rot, earthquakes, slamming of doors when I’m pissed off, etc., etc. 

I DON’T think it was built this way, even if the original owner had had his wages garnished.....

But I noticed in my self-imposed, manditory 24/7 internet research, that certain architects design things in rather unsquare ways.....on purpose....even without anyone brandishing a gun at them.

See for yourself....

Lest you think these images are some photoshop creations, they are not. 

These domiciles are on the level.

WHAT THE HECK ??????????

I was checking my e-mails this morning and I got one from Walmart. I'm apparently on their mailing list. I opened it up and saw this:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I mean, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

As most of you know, I am a teacher. So is Mr. Downeastdoingstuff. 

In this non-existant summer of rain and cold, my summer has barely begun. So seeing this made things even more desperate than they currently are! Where the frig is the summer???

Thinking about (gulp) s-c-h-o-o-l, I remembered this little diddy that was posted on the fridge in the teacher's room a while back. This was how it was when I first started teaching. (Or so it seems)

“To Teachers”    1870

 

1870:“Each day teachers will fill lamps, clean chimneys and trim wicks.”

2009: I turn on the light switch, sometimes. There are 2 of them, so it’s double the work.

1870:“Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day session.”

2009: I have 2 sinks. I check if the hot water is turned on, which it isn’t until the boilers are turned on. I don't like that.

AND If the room is too cold, which it usually is for MY taste, I get out my paperclip which I have fashioned into a NASA type of tool, and go and adjust the locked thermostat. I just have to remember to adjust it back down before I leave so I don't get busted.

1870:“Make pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to the individual taste of the pupil.”

2009: I curse the custodian when she forgets to empty the refuse tray in my electric pencil sharpener. SOMETIMES a pencil nib get stuck in the sharpener, rendering it useless. It ruins my day.

 

1870:“Men teachers may take one night each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.”

2009:  WHAT? WHAT? “Men teachers!!” WHO do they court? Wouldn’t the women teachers need one night a week to BE courted?? I'm glad I'm married!!

 

1870:“After school the teacher must spend the time until supper reading the Bible and other good books.”

2009: And WHO is making the ‘supper’????

Does the Dr. Phil Show count as a good book?

 

1870:Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be discharged.

2009: Uh Oh. Hmmmm. No comment.

 

1870: Every teacher should lay aside from each month’s pay a goodly sum for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a burden on society.

2009: Every teacher will put their money into a retirement account and then watch the money disappear in this economy. Every teacher will continue to put money into this bogus account, even though most of it continues to evaporate.

 

1870: Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor  in any form, frequents pool halls or public hall, or gets shaved in a barber shop, shall give good reason to suspect his worth, integrity and honesty.

2009: I’ve got to stop getting shaved in a barber shop! I don’t smoke, but I have been known to use liquor, ahem, now and then. (Like, EVERYDAY !!) (I see my job is in big trouble.)

 

1870: The teacher who performs his duties regularly and faithfully and without fault for five years, wil be given an increase of 25 cents a week in his pay, providing the Board of education approves.

2009: This is still TRUE.

OH PLEASE, why are we talking about THIS in July !!!!????????&^&^%%$$###@@)(*&

WALMART, CUT THE CRAP !!

Happy Birthday to the love of my life....

Today is Mr. Downeastdoingstuff's birthday. I dedicate this post to him.

He is my BFF (sorry, Donna). My Best Friend Forever and Ever, so I guess he's my BFFAE.

I'm so glad this day exists, because if he wasn't born on this day, I wouldn't have my BFFAE, and that would be very sad.

He is also the best looking guy in the world, as you can see below....

Oops, sorry, that's Johnny Depp. He's also good looking, but not as good as Mr. Downeastdoingstuff.

OK, OK, here is a picture of him.....
Oh, this is embarrassing....that's Tom Selleck (I just realized, if you're not old enough, you might not know who he is....) (Not that I'M that old, I just heard about him somewhere, I think, and thought he was sweet.)

Alright, this is Mr. Downeastdoingstuff.
OMG. I don't know what's happening? This isn't him either! It's Gerard Butler as the Phantom of the Opera, I think. I don't know how he got into this blog post. He is darn cute, though, now that I look at him...And as the Phantom, be still my heart. I would've picked the Phantom over that Raoul guy any day, oh yes and what a bod! And those eyes........

Ahem. cough. cough.

Ok, Ok, OK....THIS IS HIM !!!  A couple of years younger and reading a book already. He's so smart.

(YES, It really is him...) 

Happy Birthday to the best husband in the world! I love you Birdman.

I don't like to iron, do you?

My mother used to iron everything. Hankercheifs (precursors to kleenex), sheets and who knows what else? I have never seen an iron in my father's hands.

So when I got married, it took me about 15 minutes to realize that I ain't gonna be ironing anything like her.

It took me 15 minutes of ironing both of our clothes in the tiny space in our apartment between the dining 'area' and the living room, while my newly-wed  had his feet up watching a football game on the T.V., to realize that this is not the way it was going to be.

That was it.

Eversince then, for the past 34 years, it's been every man for himself. I iron my own stuff, and he irons his.

Period.

Here is a picture of me ironing in those good old days......

Now, speaking of ironing, someone I know thought it would be a good idea, one day, to iron a shirt while it was ON his body. This person is normally an intelligent human being, but on this particular day, there must have been a mental lapse of some sort. An episode. He now possesses a permanent reminder, a branding, of exactly what the shape of the tip of that iron was. Look for yourself....

A forensic department, if this was a crime scene, would be able to say instantly and unequivocally, 'Case Closed'.

I agree.

Now, upon further investigation, apparently not everyone irons like my mother did, or even like I did back in those days.

For example...

I remember my mother used to spritz her clothes with water, roll them up, put them in plastic bags and put the clothes in the Frigidaire,  for a while. (DON'T ask me why....)

Now, this guy just goes to the arctic to iron, thus not needing a fridge. I guess I never thought about who ironed the penguins suits !!

This guy must be high!

No need to spritz the clothes where this guy irons. ( I don't know, but if there's a tag on every hairdryer that tells you not to use it in the tub, wouldn't there be one of those tags on an iron, too?) I'm just saying....

This guy needs to invest in some wrinkle-free clothing.

See, everyone spritzes their clothes before ironing!


Just make sure you check that tow rope while you are ironing! Nice and taut. 

Back of a Taxi......

Anyway, anybody notice, that all of these people ironing (except for me at the beginning) are MEN?

Again, case closed.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy !

23 years ago today, this sweet angel came into the world.

It's hard to believe it's been that long. It's been a wonderful 23 years.
I love you, I love you, I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Oh yeah, P.S., THE SUN IS OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm finally gardening ! (IN THE RAIN !!!!!)

OK, OK. enough is enough. I HAVE to garden. I can't wait around for a month in June and July NOT to garden !!

Oh, yeah, It's raining. Rained all day yesterday, too. The only 2 days it didn't rain, at least not all day, we weren't here! (not that I'm complaining about THAT !)

So here I am, gardening, in the rain, come heck or high water.

(Witness Protection Program blurry face...)

AND I am wearing a FLEECE top under that raincoat !

Supposed to be nice tomorrow ! (I'll believe it when I see it.)