Cracked me up....

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Paper Flowers I made...

Here are some large paper flowers I made for a special occasion at my school. I was inspired by googling 'large paper flowers'. Some places had directions, like the poppies, some sites were just photos and then I figured it out myself. A lot of the flowers I just made up.

They really make a big impact. I will post directions as soon as I can for some of them.

Oh, by the way, they are just construction paper.

Can YOU cut the mustard?....

Can’t cut the mustard?.....

I heard a student say this the other day. It made me wonder if they even knew what it meant. Kids often mimic phrases they hear elsewhere, but don’t really understand what they mean. 

My father used to say, “You’re nuttier than a fruitcake.”

I knew what that meant. 

Cut the mustard. I shouldn’t think that would actually be too hard to do.

Probably not the same as cutting the cheese, I would think.

So, super sleuth that I am, I dusted off my investigatory skills and pulled out my research big guns.

I googled it.

Come to find out, nobody knows for sure the origins of the phrase. Another fellow sleuth thought it referred actually to the mustard seed. Apparently the dang thing is hard to cut. So if you’re not up to completing a task satisfactorily , you can’t cut the mustard. 

OK, good enough for me.....but then I found this tidibt.

UNCOMMON USES FOR MUSTARD 

Now this is much more interesting

(Kudos to the first pioneers to try these things....)

1. Soothe Sore Throats: combine a bit of mustard with the juice of half a fresh lemon, one tbsp of salt, one tbsp of honey and 1/2 cup boiling water. Mix ingredients together and let cool for 10 minutes before gargling. Warning: this will not taste or smell good, but after a few rounds of gargling, your throat should be feeling a lot less sore.

(Translation: Gargle with a solution that smells like crap and tastes even worse and after vomiting for 20 minutes you won’t even notice your sore throat.)

1. Decongestant: instead of using a topical decongestant, rub some mustard on your chest and place a cloth that's damp with hot water over it.

(Translation: Warm, soggy mustard on your boobs will cause your lover to run for the hills, resulting in such hard breathing he’ll have enough oxygen in his system for days.)

1. Face Mask: spread a thin layer of mild mustard on your face for a few minutes and rinse for a nice, healthy glow. 

(Well, OK. But now read this warning that came with this tip....)

WARNING: Take a second before slathering up your face like a sandwich, and see if the mustard makes your sensitive skin react. Spread a little bit on your inner wrist. If you break out in some funky rash there, then I advise against putting mustard on your face.

(However, as directed in the previous suggestion, your chest as a mustard site is ok.)

1. Relax Muscles: You can utilize mustard to relax your muscles.  If your feet are exhausted from a long day of standing, make a mustard foot bath with 1 tbsp mustard in a pan of warm water. Stir water until mustard dissolves and dip your feet in for 15-20 minutes.

Translation: The aforementioned possible rash will probably develop on the soles of your feet making it virtually impossible to walk, thus resulting in very relaxed muscles throughout the rest of your body for the duration of the rash.

Live and learn.

Grey Poupon, anyone?

Why God made Moms....

My cousin in California sent this to all the mom's in our family. She did not reveal the source, so if you are the author of this collection, thanks for sharing and good job. It's all true!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

 Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

 Why did God make mothers?

1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers? 

1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of? 

1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 

1.  We're related.

2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom? 

1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 

1.  His last name.

2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad? 

1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot.

2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house? 

1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What' s the difference between moms and dads? 

1.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

2.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

3.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time? 

1.  Mothers don't do spare time

2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 

 

What would it take to make your mom perfect? 

1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 

1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.

2.  I'd make my mom smarter..  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day....

Romantic weekend....Part 2.....

So after settling in our room, we went for a walk around the shops in Rockland. Not everything was opened yet because it was before the 'season', but we did cruise around a few stores.

Upon returning to the Inn, this is how we found our room.

Lest you think those are sliced beets, be assured, they are rose petals!! And some chocolate on a silver tray. Nice touch.

So we cracked open some  champagne we brought, served up some cheese and crackers and built a fire in the fireplace. Oh yeah, I already told you it was a push button fire. Nice anyway.

After enjoying that, we took off for a local restaurant on the water that had good reviews. We decided to just go to the lounge and order a couple of appetizers and some adult beverages. Very relaxing.

Next morning..... BREAKFAST ....

Home-made hot applesauce, a breakfast bread that I think was almond, coconut and poppyseed, coffee, tea or juice.
Quiche with basil and homefries.

BUT.....BUT...the piece de resistance was this.....CHECK IT OUT !!!! They had a pantry that was open 24/7. In that pantry were 3 or 4 PIES, that were available all the time!!! Coffee and tea.In the fridge were sodas, water, BEER  and  ICE CREAM !!!!!! The deal was HELP YOURSELF!!!!! YIKES!!!

So we came back after the appetizers, fixed ourselves up with pie, ice cream and tea (for me) and went back up to our room. Perfect, perfect time.

I want that pantry in my house.

A Romantic Weekend.......part 1......

Our 36th Wedding Anniversary was on April 19th.  

But I was in Florida on April 19th...by myself. (well, with my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, aunt, aunt and uncle.....) (Hey, it's a dirty job.....this going to Florida stuff....but someone has to do it.)      ( I had to suffer through sunshine and 85 degrees.)

So needless to say, we did not celebrate it on that exact day. Actually, we did text each other several times, some of it quite mushy if you really must know, but that was the extent of our jubilee. 

So we celebrated, while actually together, just the two of us, this past weekend. 

We decided to venture up to Rockland, Maine for the weekend. We stayed at the Berry Manor Inn, pictured above. Rockland is a coastal town over an hour north of Portland. Coastal, like, on the Atlantic Ocean which, by the way, is perpetually freezing even in the best of times. 

This is the foyer you see upon entering. We were greeted by a lovely young lady, Lori, who welcomed us, gave us a history of the mansion and took us on a tour.

This is the common room to the right. There is a computer and printer in this room for guests to use.

This is the common room to the left. It also has shelves of brochures of what to do in the area, you know, like real hotels have.

This was the entrance to the dining room where we would have the second 'B' of our Bed and Breakfast situation in the morning.

This was our bedroom, room #2 to be exact. Their website is very thorough and you can see all the rooms ahead of time and pick one out that goes well with your ensemble.

Notice the flat screen TV. Beneath that is a DVD player, (movies are provided in a couple of drawers in a second floor sitting room), and on the little table with the lamp on it there is an ipod/iphone player. You would not be lacking for any of the essentials we have become accustomed  to in our daily lives.

A lovely gas fireplace....on a timer! Ah, the good ol' days, push button fires. 

The way life should be.

(more later.....)