I love the whole idea about the Winter Olympics. There’s an aura to it that I find appealing, including the gut drumming song that accompanies each opening segment on TV.
And, of course, the games.
OK. Most of them I get. Ice skating (ice dancing, figure skating, racing, .....), skiing (nordic, cross country, jumping....), the fairly new snowboarding (whatever...too new to me to interpret), and ice hockey.
No prob.
However.....
Please. Come on.
For example....
....the Luge?
Lying on a little sled, face up, feet first careening down an icy track at 87 miles an hour while clad in spandex?
And then, AND THEN .....there’s the DOUBLE luge!??? Two men lying on top of each other on same sled, in the same slippery spandex with no seatbelts! WHAT is holding the second man in place on top of the first?? I shudder to think.
(yeah, I know, women do it, too, but they’re probably cushier.)
sigh....
And then the Biathlon.
(The following is a re-enactment of the founders deciding what this event should be in the 1924 Winter Olympics .)
Olympics President: “OK, we know we need to use ice or snow in this event, but what should we do?”
Olympics trustee: “Pour raspberry syrup on the snow, eat it, and call it a day?”
Olympics President: “No. Come on. This is serious. These are the Olympics, you know, Athens and all....just in the winter.”
Olympics trustee: “I know. (thinking) Well.....(more thinking).....maybe they can SKI!”
Olympics janitor: “Brilliant! Now let’s go out to lunch.”
Olympics President: “No, no. Wait. I think we need more than that. Something to......”
Olympics trustee: “I know. I know! Let’s have them carry rifles on their backs while cross country skiing mile after mile and then have them stop every so often to lie down on the snow and shoot at a target, get up and ski some more! Let’s make it a race!!!”
Olympics President: “I. SAID.THIS. IS. SERIOUS! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
True story.
And then there’s Curling......
Don’t even get me started on that!
They should apply for the Olympics.