WHAT THE HECK ??????????

I was checking my e-mails this morning and I got one from Walmart. I'm apparently on their mailing list. I opened it up and saw this:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I mean, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

As most of you know, I am a teacher. So is Mr. Downeastdoingstuff. 

In this non-existant summer of rain and cold, my summer has barely begun. So seeing this made things even more desperate than they currently are! Where the frig is the summer???

Thinking about (gulp) s-c-h-o-o-l, I remembered this little diddy that was posted on the fridge in the teacher's room a while back. This was how it was when I first started teaching. (Or so it seems)

“To Teachers”    1870

 

1870:“Each day teachers will fill lamps, clean chimneys and trim wicks.”

2009: I turn on the light switch, sometimes. There are 2 of them, so it’s double the work.

1870:“Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day session.”

2009: I have 2 sinks. I check if the hot water is turned on, which it isn’t until the boilers are turned on. I don't like that.

AND If the room is too cold, which it usually is for MY taste, I get out my paperclip which I have fashioned into a NASA type of tool, and go and adjust the locked thermostat. I just have to remember to adjust it back down before I leave so I don't get busted.

1870:“Make pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to the individual taste of the pupil.”

2009: I curse the custodian when she forgets to empty the refuse tray in my electric pencil sharpener. SOMETIMES a pencil nib get stuck in the sharpener, rendering it useless. It ruins my day.

 

1870:“Men teachers may take one night each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.”

2009:  WHAT? WHAT? “Men teachers!!” WHO do they court? Wouldn’t the women teachers need one night a week to BE courted?? I'm glad I'm married!!

 

1870:“After school the teacher must spend the time until supper reading the Bible and other good books.”

2009: And WHO is making the ‘supper’????

Does the Dr. Phil Show count as a good book?

 

1870:Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be discharged.

2009: Uh Oh. Hmmmm. No comment.

 

1870: Every teacher should lay aside from each month’s pay a goodly sum for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a burden on society.

2009: Every teacher will put their money into a retirement account and then watch the money disappear in this economy. Every teacher will continue to put money into this bogus account, even though most of it continues to evaporate.

 

1870: Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor  in any form, frequents pool halls or public hall, or gets shaved in a barber shop, shall give good reason to suspect his worth, integrity and honesty.

2009: I’ve got to stop getting shaved in a barber shop! I don’t smoke, but I have been known to use liquor, ahem, now and then. (Like, EVERYDAY !!) (I see my job is in big trouble.)

 

1870: The teacher who performs his duties regularly and faithfully and without fault for five years, wil be given an increase of 25 cents a week in his pay, providing the Board of education approves.

2009: This is still TRUE.

OH PLEASE, why are we talking about THIS in July !!!!????????&^&^%%$$###@@)(*&

WALMART, CUT THE CRAP !!